"In this world I feel trapped. I can never make up my mind whether I want to fit in or whether I’m proud of being different. As independent and as free as I try to be, or think I am, I am relentlessly aware of being controlled. It is a constant reminder of the small part I play in society’s game. I admire people brave enough to stand outside while I’m taking shelter in the porch, neither inside nor out. The controller is more than society to me, it is fear. Fear of ridicule, fear of disappointment, fear that no one will follow me, fear that if I let go everything that I work so hard to keep together will fall apart. It’s like standing at the top of a bungee jump with common sense telling you in one ear that you are tied on and will bounce back, but gut instinct screaming in the other ear that you should not jump. I am constantly trapped at the top of that bungee jump. The tiny platform keeps me feeling safe but also restricts me and I look at the view and wish I could be there instead of where I am."
|Date of Award||2010|
|Supervisor||Carl Ivan Lavery (Supervisor)|
Turner, N. A. (Author). 2010
Student thesis: Master's Thesis › Master of Arts